Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Benefits of Yoga - Why Yoga Exercise is Good for You

I've already mentioned the wonders of Yoga in many of my posts. I myself am a perfect example of it, and I've only been doing it for 3 months. Not only has my body been transformed, but also my mind and my spirit. Thanks to Yoga, I've been able to overcome the 2 biggest challenges in my life: self-acceptance and patience. I learned to accept and love myself unconditionally (thus accepting and loving others,) and being patient and letting life unfold in a natural, blissful way. Please read the article linked below if you haven't been already convinced.

Benefits of Yoga - Why Yoga Exercise is Good for You

Monday, March 26, 2012

Me, Excited, Inspired

Cheers everyone,

I am at work right now but felt compelled to write a few lines to share a couple things that are keeping me excited today (despite it being Monday and back to cold weather).

First, last Saturday while out with my girl-friends at Mari Vanna, we were blessed with the presence of one new yorker we, new york women, simply cannot resist. Mr.Big himself. Of course you know Mr. Big from  Sex and the City? We (all my girl-friends and I) loooooove him. So imagine our excitement, especially when he waved at our table. Did he look as hot as in the movie? Abso-fucking-lutely :) I think I was hot from head to toes, and literally had to drag myself outside to get some cool air. I am not kidding. My hormones were flying super high since Friday, the night before...

Second, I wanted to share my new love for the LA based band "Moderne Man". 2 Brothers, 9 under 3-minute songs, 1 big surprise. They rock, and they are officially my Spring 2012 music. Check them out, they are on iTunes and Spotify (pic below). here is their official website: They sound and feel light, breezy, exciting... They are refreshing.

Hope you all find excitement and inspiration on this lovely Monday. No better way to start a new week.

Friday, March 23, 2012

My Love to You, Quickie

Hi All,

Just wanted to stop by and wish you all a happy Friday. Nothing in particular but letting you know that I am always there for you, and always looking for more ideas to inspire you. First inspire myself, and then lead by example. So this will be a very exciting weekend for me.
Tomorrow meeting the girl-friend I reconciled with recently (see my post "Rebuilding bridges"), and then dinner with many friends at Mari Vanna. Sunday, I signed myself up for volunteer work, which I'll cover in my "Dare Yourself" series. Yes, I am finally doing something noble with my challenge!
And tonight is even more exciting. But that's a secret.....

Hope you all use your weekend to the fullest. And if not, there is always another one. Also try to find beauty in your weekdays. It always amazes me how people in the office survive from a weekend to a weekend. Life is too short to live this way. If you feel that you dread your weekdays and look forward to weekends, it's time to reconsider what you do for living. As I said, life is too short and we spend the most of our awaken time at work. You'd better enjoy it. Otherwise what's the point? It's never too late to change it. The most important thing is to feel fulfilled. Remember it's up to you to make that change. Don't change the world, change yourself. Lead by example.


Monday, March 19, 2012

Sex and Sexuality, V

This post will address one of my readers' comment on the earlier S&S post where I explain that the best sexual experience is when a woman trusts a partner and feels safe with him.

Gary asked me an intriguing but a perfectly legitimate question: "I've periodically heard about the dynamic of a woman having her safety man, but then itching to dabble with the edgy, "dangerous" one. There is always the thrill of mystery. And yet, in what you don't know means there's a chance of unpredictability, less safety. What are your thoughts about that?"

First, I would want to stress on the fact that this dynamic is more rumored than real. Even Gary says that he heard about it, not witnessed let me add.. The concept is undoubtfully popular in movies and no wonder, a woman that surrenders to her wild sexual instincts with a "dangerous" man is extremely arousing to both men and women.
All men secretly hope that a sweet classy girl they want to partner with is crazy and wild in sex. It's like hitting the jackpot. Not to mention they all secretly wish they were those "dangerous" types that would drive her sex hormones up the wall, and they could have her anyway they want (literally).
As for women, they secretly fantasize having such a strong sexual power that the baddest of bad asses will lose his mind and want to do her right on the spot.
Ahh, sorry, for such blatant honesty. I know I am not winning a "Miss Manners" contest with this post. But I can't help myself but being honest. So I'll speak on behalf of so many who would silently agree with what I am saying here. 

Anyway the truth is it is very rare that the likely scenario plays out in real life. 
 Secondly, if it does take place, it's not as exciting as it seems. If a woman succumbs to those temptations, it's for a very brief period if not a moment. As outrageous as we might seem, we still keep our hearts well guarded. Even myself (passionate and unbridled in my emotions), I know when to draw the line. I can as much as flirt with the "dangerous" type, almost lead him on, but take off when it gets close to the danger zone. It's almost as if you're intoxicated and are well aware that there will be a serious hangover the next day. You don't want to take chances. 

And then there are few of us that go all the way and surrender. And what they are left with is feeling lost and empty. For as I said in my prior post, we women get attached to a sex partner chemically, and in the end want love. Yes, in the end, we want authentic love, not simply an adrenaline rushing animal sex but someone to hold us and make love to us. And we are well aware that the "dangerous" type is not capable to give it to us. Besides it's not that often in your life that you run into the Olivier Martinez's type (see pics from the movie "Unfaithful").

But hang in there. If you know me by now, you know that, of course, I found a solution to this exciting dilemma, which I tested myself :) You can go wild and crazy with a partner you trust and love. And the name of my solution is role playing, i.e. playing out your and your partner's fantasies in real life. How you do it is another story. As long as there is trust and safety you can go as wild as you feel free to go.

So as you see, in the end it all comes back to where I started: feeling safe and loved in a relationship :)

P.S. Special thank you goes to one of my favorite readers Gary for such an exciting question.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Now you see it, Now you don't

A few days ago, I had an eye-opening conversation with one of my male friends. Ladies, I am sure you'll have a "WTF" moment once you read it. Sit down, get a glass of wine (or two).

First let me introduce to you my friend Z. He is a modern-day gentleman. Besides perfect manners and nearly impeccable sense of style, he is also a team player, fun and easy going. He has that ability to make you feel so comfortable with him that you open up, you laugh, you share your secrets. And I only scratched the surface since I only experienced him in a friend category. From many many girls who not only disclose their secrets to him but also their bodies, I get a sense that he knows his way around the ladies very well. I even suspect he is the guy who is as close as any man can get to a what-women-want discovery. And he doesn't seem like a player, I don't think he is, he just loves women and knows how to treat them. In return, women fall for it and follow his lead. Basically, girls like him, girls' parents like him, girls' pets like him. I've witnessed myself. My sweet Josephine (my pet) is all over him whenever she sees him.

This is just a little description so you understand that the story I am about to share is about a nice guy (in all ways).

So he shared his last romantic adventure with me. He dated a girl for a couple of months. They went out, he would always pick her up, he took her to nice places, he always picked up the bill (even when she insisted), he gave her flowers, he picked her up from the airport!! Really it's been my dream forever that my guy would pick me up from the airport. I even have an image how I run and jump into his arms and we kiss right in the middle of it and it would feel like Paris... Still fantasizing...

So he's been a perfect gentleman all along. He took care of her, he showed her attention, lots of attention. I was almost excited that romance does happen in our modern day life. And then he dropped the bomb. Apparently, he didn't feel any chemistry with her and the whole time they dated he wanted to break up with her. I was confused. Why did you do all those nice romantic things, showed her that she was special? His answer: She is a good person and I am a gentleman. I would behave the same way with any woman.

Maybe that's noble, but I was shocked. How can it be? If you are not into someone you don't give them flowers and pick them up from the airport and have sex with them and then break up the next day. She had no idea, she had no signs, no warnings. Maybe if she did, she would at least get a case of wine ready, and girl-friends waiting to pick her up and drink all that wine. No, she thought it was amazing and the guy was falling for her. Only to have her trust broken in the end.

And then I remembered that I had the same experience in my life once. The only guy that ever broke up with me did the exact same thing: showed me nothing but his attention. He was all over me. And then one day after the basketball game (and after the night we had sex) he broke up with me. I wasn't even as much upset as I was shocked. I didn't see it coming. And though I knew he wasn't the One for me, I was still devastated. Why wouldn't you give me some signs? I already got you a Xmas present and a BD present you had next month! I need to get you out of my body first before I can break up with you..

At least when I broke up with my ex's I would first become distant, I would talk to them about it, I would lead them to it. I wouldn't just hit them in the head with my break-up. It's simple human compassion and respect for what you had.

In the end, I realized that it could happen anytime, to anyone. What a girl to do? If it had never happened to me, I would have said that you should be able to pick up on some signs. But I know there might be no signs. Besides the doubts I had about him being the right guy for me, I saw no signs from his side.

So instead I will address all men who ever broke up in a similar way or contemplating it. Be a man. Don't mislead her, tell her how it is. Break ups are not beautiful, there should be no flowers, no freaking games, and certainly no sex. Honesty will serve you so much better and you might even transition into a nice fleeting memory and maybe respect. But going the tricky route will only put you in a "never trust, avoid that guy by all means" category. Make your choice.

My preference: Always be real, be you. Not being honest is not being yourself, not accepting yourself. But it should be your job to resolve it for yourself and not through others. It takes strength.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Dare Yourself, Be easy on yourself

So here I am, 2nd week of my challenge to dare myself to do things I never considered doing, and already telling you to take it easy, i.e. be easy on yourself.
Believe me it's no less task to just go with the flow and take it easy.

First of all, this has been a busy crazy week at work for me (beauty of financial planning and analysis). Second of all, it was my birthday and as tired as I was, I still managed to have some wine with my friends who brought me many many beautiful flowers (at 10pm when I got home). Seriously this year has been the most beautifully flowered for me (can I say that?...)
Then I was still trying to squeeze in some outrageous thing into my routine as promised. and believe me I gave it my best effort. I tried to get up at 5:45am to make it to a 6:30am yoga class. No luck there. there is always another time...
Then I tried to go to a social event all by myself and try to approach a guy I liked and ask him on a date. Who was I kidding..
Then I tried.. What else did I try - I simply don't remember. I do remember that I spent 1.5 hours listening to the country music, the whole time believing that it would cut it for my challenge. To my biggest surprise, I didn't hate it, I even didn't mind it that much. I think I was so swamped with work that I simply enjoyed the country music effect on me: proving that it could be worse...

Anyway, in the end I simply accepted the fact that this week would be unoriginal, just whatever. I would simply get through it as easy and smoothly as I can. And besides, I still managed to meet all my deadlines at work and did a good job, I managed to make it to my yoga class every day, I finally did one pose I was so anxious to do from the beginning I started practicing yoga, I managed to have a 15 min lunch one day this week (really?), I managed to have multiple orgasms a few times (myself:), I managed to respond to all my personal (vs. work related) emails and texts within reasonable time... But most of all, I managed to let myself just be. I was gentle and easy with myself, encouraging along the way "Just hang in there and you'll get your sleep soon, and you'll be rested and restful very soon!" and so I did.

Next week will be another story:) and I already have it all lined up. Believe me it should be only more exciting.
Nite all!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

My Love to You

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Mark Twain

Today I was thinking how much time we waste on worrying about things that don't go our way. We let worry take over our minds, hearts and bodies. We give it so much power, that in the end it controls us.

When consumed in this unproductive process (which worry is), we stop noticing what's going well in our lives. and believe me there is always something that's going the way you want. You're just too worried to notice it. It's your life and it is what you make of it. Take responsibility for everything that happens for you invited it deliberately or not. Own it.

Then I looked back at some of the moments in my life. And you know which ones I remember the most, almost as if they just happened, and I remember all the details? The ones when I was happy, when it was fun, when I felt loved, when I loved... And the moments that hurt seemed unreal, almost as if they never really happened.

Finally, I realized that in the end I'll only remember the good stuff. So why am I worrying about things that don't go the way I want? they will pass and I'll never even remember them.

We all worry every day about many things that we don't even think of in a few weeks or even days. So why worry? why make ourselves so consumed in it that we don't notice what goes right? Why focus on negative when there is positive that is waiting to be finally noticed?

So the mantra for today and ideally every day: When the road gets rough, just remember that it shall pass and you won't even think about it later on. Just accept it and get ready for better times.
And when you're happy don't worry that it will end, for you'll have such a bright memory of it that it will always be in your heart. So embrace it, enjoy it, and keep it in your heart.

Love you!
P.S. Pics of me taken during those happy moments.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Dare Yourself, Rebuilding bridges

If you recall, last week I started a new series to dare myself to do things that seemed impossible to do, I didn't want to do, or they simply never crossed my mind. Purpose is to break the routine (which is one of the biggest enemies to our growth), to venture new areas, to learn more about myself, to expand my boundaries, etc.
Since then I've been thinking and thinking what possibly could I do. Am I not already doing enough that I make myself almost collapse at the end of the week?
If you think I'm entertaining a thought of bungee jumping or sky diving, you are giving me too much credit my friends. Don't forget, I am Miss Perfect, so finding myself at a dive bar on a Saturday night with a big glass of beer would be one of the most outrageous things I could do..
So no, I am not thinking of those extreme things that rush your blood to the head. I am more about doing beautiful things, that are pleasant to my body and soul, things that let my soul expand and fill with love and fun. What can I say, though looking to break the routine I still want to stay true to myself :)

Anyway, as I was pondering on many ideas (volunteering, waking up at 5am to make it to an early yoga class, trying speed dating, approaching a guy and asking him out on a date, having a friendly lunch with my ex (what was I smoking:) and many more) one brilliant idea did come to my mind, and it was regarding a long time friend.

We were friends for many years, and over a year ago we had a fall out. I think we just got too close at some point and became somewhat like an old couple. Besides, both of us experienced some personal dramas that were too much to handle. Not that we had a fight but we just felt that we needed some space and time to be on our own. It was strange at first, but time flew by and we hardly had any contact. We were not ready to reconnect.
So I thought of her and during my yoga practice I felt that I wanted to reconnect again, and she still holds a special place in my heart. For me, distance and time don't kill true love. And then the most amazing thing happened. She called me. She called me first. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I do believe that on a spiritual plane, we are all connected. And if we share a special strong bond with someone (and it's mutual), we can sense each other. Usually subconsciously. But we still do, and this is the most amazing part about love and connection. When mutual and real, it stands no time or hurdle. It comes through and warms your heart again, even if you thought it wasn't possible ;)
Cherish those bonds and don't take them for granted.

P.S. pictures: She is in a passionate red (Shakira she is), I am in a breezy blue :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Online Dating, III

Once again to recap: back in the Fall of 2011 I tried online dating. Goal: 3 months, 3 dates. No expectations to meet love that way but simply an experiment, and to also show the Universe that I am serious about falling in love.

2 dates took place and both of them made me realize even more that online dating was simply not for me. It reminds me of shopping online. When I look for lets say a dress online, I check my size, I find the color I like, I think where I would wear it and how I'd pare it with my other items. Online dating isn't much different. You check his age, his height, his body type, where he takes you on a first date, etc. And you see this is not how I want to meet my love. I want it to just happen. I want to meet him first before I think whether I see myself with a guy of this height, who likes that movie, and wether he wants kids or not sure. I don't want cold facts when I want an electric current. Maybe it's not practical but love will never be for me. I'm too idealistic when it comes to it.

Anyway, after 2 dates I wasn't in a mood at all but still if I decided to do something I have to finish it. It's only 1 date left, I can do it. This time I decide to go and find a guy myself, meaning I'll go over all members' pictures and pick one guy I like. He has to have the following: dark hair, tanned skin, beautiful hands and fingers (don't ask why... not now...), nice smile, and kind eyes. The rest I don't care. I decided if I had to do it once again to finalize my experiment and make my final verdict on this whole thing, at least I'll make sure there is chemistry and maybe there is a kiss in the end. So that time and money (and my hope) are not entirely wasted.

That's how I find Steve. There is no questions he is my type, at least in his 5-7 pictures. Dark hair, beautiful smile, long fingers! Smart and funny. I email him, and in the most exciting and humorous way (humor is high on my list) he asks me out.
We meet in Tribeca for some wine, chemistry is undeniable. I can't stop laughing, he can't stop making me laugh. He is smooth, he is sexy. Basically, the guy who'll have that opportunity I mentioned :)

The problem? Oh yes there is a problem. He is a blend of my 2 past loves. It's like God took them both and made Steve. He's got them both. And although he has the qualities that made me fall in love with them: sense of humor, intelligence, confidence, drive, good manners. He also embodies the ones that killed my love in the end: looking for an easy way for himself, selfishness, always putting himself first, empty promises, looking for a hookup, being a smoother.. My reaction? I am excited, I am intoxicated, I can't breathe. I walked that road twice, I am not doing it again. Haven't I learned?? It is true love I am looking for, a partner I can trust. Not to have my trust broken again.

We kiss, we feel electricity going from head to toes. We get in a cab together as we both live on UWS. I say 2 stops, me first. I need to leave I need to run.. It took me a total of 6 years to let those men go, to be able to move on, to open up again. I won't make that mistake again. I get out of the cab, and I run, not walk all the way before I get to my bed. I fall asleep and never think of it again. It wasn't real anyway... It was my past.

That was supposed to be the end of my experiment, and although I still had more than a month of membership I stopped going onsite and responding to any emails. I was done. Or so I thought. But in few weeks there was one more date that actually made a history... Stay tuned.

Friday, March 2, 2012

New Series - Dare Yourself

Hi All,

Today I felt moved to think outside the box. It's that I started feeling that my life was getting routine again. Besides my daily yoga practice that always teaches me to go further and deeper, everything else seems static at this point. Definitely a good timing to shake things up. Always looking for ways to develop myself, I've decided to take on a new life challenge, which I'll cover on my blog.

Challenge: Every week do something that I could never imagine doing. Or if imagined, never thought I could do it.
Preference: Something of a romantic nature. Other options include: physical, mental, self-giving, compassionate, daring, even crazy (as long as doesn't hurt anyone involved).

In the meantime, I encourage all of you to take on that challenge. Dare yourself to do something that seemed impossible or you simply never thought was for you. By doing that, not only will you expand your possibilities, you'll also learn more about yourself. And as I many times reiterated, nothing is more important in your life than learning about yourself and constantly looking for ways to develop yourself. You are your most important relationship in your life, and need to make it your priority.

I'll be sharing my ways to dare myself and encourage you to share your ideas. I even dare myself to try what you dared yourself to do. Promise.

Let's get excited and let any fear and self doubt take a vacation. For we are too busy exploring our new boundaries.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

From pets with love


check out 2 videos below. Simply adorable! Pets are a bundle of love. Love them.