Quotes

As you know, I am a Big fan of quotes. I even write my own, and some of them I posted on here awhile ago. Those were more "naughty" in nature. Those were the days :)
However, since now I am going thru a serious transformation in my life, the recent quotes I want to share with you, reflect it pretty well. They are less hip but still definitely reflect who I am and what I believe in. Hope you'll enjoy them. And once again let me remind you, they are simply my personal statements based on experience, observation and reasoning. They are neither facts nor indisputable truths.

1) I stopped saying "Never" because it doesn't exist.

2) The only way to personal freedom is to take responsibility of your life.

3) Freedom can only be attained inside. The problem is very few can hear it.

4) Love is completely self-afflicted, and so are expectations that come with it.

5) It's harder not to say Anything than to say Something smart. *(my favorite).

6) Don't listen to anyone. For no one knows anything before faced with the situation that requires similar attention.
7) Mouth diarrhea should only be allowed and justified when comes from a comedian.

8) I don't understand abstinence from sex. This is the reason we exist.

9) Whatever it is we desire, the underlying goal is always freedom.

10) The fastest way to peace is to limit time spent with friends.

11) Girl-friends should be fun. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is drama.

12) The only time we feel free with another is during sex.

13) Don't put anyone first. It's the responsibility most people can't handle.

From pets with love

Guys,

check out 2 videos below. Simply adorable! Pets are a bundle of love. Love them.

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/6ldm

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/6m5x

A Giant Umbrella

This post I want to start with a silly question. What is more ridiculous than a bow tie? giving you 10 seconds, go. Answer: A giant umbrella. You didn't see that coming did you?

Well I'll tell you what, I noticed a giant umbrella's existence long ago but today while walking home in the rain I just couldn't ignore its presence anymore. You know which one I am talking about? It usually has a company's logo on it and it's by all standards huge, gigantic indeed. It's like a cherry grown on pesticides. It's oversized. I can't stop. It could fit 5 of me (size 2 and grinning:) under it. You get the point!

Seriously it takes up half the street. And who carries it but a guy in a suit, with a tie. Of course, it's not even him carrying it, its his ego all the way. Here is my message to all of you, clean cut guys out there, when you know it's going to rain and you'll be proudly parading with your giant umbrella please put on a bow tie. That way you'll kill two birds with one stone. Just a tip and free of charge.

What would Freud say about such a distasteful display? Small penis perhaps? Just curious..

Anyway this post is in no way to offend the proud owners of a gigantic umbrella given them at some company's event or as a gift from someone who has a small penis. I do realize it could be due to the fact that it was the only umbrella available and who wants to get wet? Though I have more sympathy for the people with umbrellas that look like a spider web and just as dangerous to get close to for they will poke you in the eye. We all have them. It's the destiny of all umbrellas bought from a guy on the street for 5 bucks. Just get one and you'll find out for yourself.
This post is just to give you an idea what it looks like to an innocent observer. Me.

And what umbrella did I have today? As simple as it gets, no umbrella. Yes, I walked 45 blocks with rain falling on me. I was wet from head to toe which I so much more prefer than a giant umbrella taking up half the street, knocking off everyone walking by, and sending a questionable message about my sexuality..

One Thing I learned In All My Years...

Today I was hit with a quote muse. Literally, as I was walking home, I had to stop every 5 minutes to write each one down.
I know you might say You? Quotes? Yes, I am no Winston Churchill or Mark Twain but I was full of them today, they just attacked me. You can take them with a grain of salt, a smile, or even criticism. But quotes are just short statements of our principles, observations. We all have them and I encourage you to look for your own. Here we go, my quotes:

• Most people are weak. The ones who say they are not, don't even have courage to admit it.

• I am not afraid to be single. Sometimes I'm even looking forward to it so I'll be able to forget all the disappointments I incurred in a relationship.

• All men want is just to sleep with you.. It's usually fine with me as we have that in common.

• I have yet to meet a man who is a great lover and normal.

• Great sex is the only reason I put up with a weakness in a man.

• The only time a woman has a total control over a man is right after sex and before he realizes he is not on the Moon.

• When a man orgasms, it's the end of a journey; when a woman does, a journey has just started.

• The distinct difference between having sex with a man and pleasuring yourself is that a woman won't stop before she orgasms at least 5 times.

• Most women are spiteful. That's why I prefer men as friends even though I know they all want to sleep with me.

• People I admire the most are the ones who don't let others get to them.

• Weren't it for my love for sex most men would just be friends I have dinners with.

• I'd still choose to be a woman. At least we have make-up to make ourselves feel better.

• Do all men cheat? No. Some of them are too scared.

• Most men lie about three numbers: age, penis size and bank account. Women lie about one: how many orgasms they faked.

• Never listen to an advice nor give one. Unless you're talking to yourself.

• Women who are afraid to be single haven't learned how to orgasm on their own yet.

• The only action men are never hesitant to take is to get their penis to action. And it's only because it has a mind of its own.

• If there is only one thing I had to say.. To men: Don't underestimate women. To women: Don't overestimate men.

• If you and your partner resort to kinky sex too often it means someone isn't getting off that often.

• If a woman says Money isn't important, she is either lying or knows what great sex is. If a man says Money isn't important, it's either he could never make any or.. wait there is no Or.

• Never go to a strip club with your man. You'll end up disappointed no matter what. If it's only disappointment you got out easy.

• The only way I would get a tattoo, if I were unconscious. They turn me off.

• The reason why I always smile is because I have difficulty crying.

• Sarcasm is the last thing I resort to. It means I finally don't give a fuck.