Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Giant Umbrella

This post I want to start with a silly question. What is more ridiculous than a bow tie? giving you 10 seconds, go. Answer: A giant umbrella. You didn't see that coming did you?

Well I'll tell you what, I noticed a giant umbrella's existence long ago but today while walking home in the rain I just couldn't ignore its presence anymore. You know which one I am talking about? It usually has a company's logo on it and it's by all standards huge, gigantic indeed. It's like a cherry grown on pesticides. It's oversized. I can't stop. It could fit 5 of me (size 2 and grinning:) under it. You get the point!

Seriously it takes up half the street. And who carries it but a guy in a suit, with a tie. Of course, it's not even him carrying it, its his ego all the way. Here is my message to all of you, clean cut guys out there, when you know it's going to rain and you'll be proudly parading with your giant umbrella please put on a bow tie. That way you'll kill two birds with one stone. Just a tip and free of charge.

What would Freud say about such a distasteful display? Small penis perhaps? Just curious..

Anyway this post is in no way to offend the proud owners of a gigantic umbrella given them at some company's event or as a gift from someone who has a small penis. I do realize it could be due to the fact that it was the only umbrella available and who wants to get wet? Though I have more sympathy for the people with umbrellas that look like a spider web and just as dangerous to get close to for they will poke you in the eye. We all have them. It's the destiny of all umbrellas bought from a guy on the street for 5 bucks. Just get one and you'll find out for yourself.
This post is just to give you an idea what it looks like to an innocent observer. Me.

And what umbrella did I have today? As simple as it gets, no umbrella. Yes, I walked 45 blocks with rain falling on me. I was wet from head to toe which I so much more prefer than a giant umbrella taking up half the street, knocking off everyone walking by, and sending a questionable message about my sexuality..

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