Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dare yourself, From "ex" to "next"

First, let me tell you when I started a new series "Dare yourself" I underestimated how daring it already was to live in the city for so long and actually not lose it..... well that's my opinion and I am sticking to it :) But I do apologize for my MIA in the series.

Anyway, when I started the series, one interesting thought did cross my mind. Why don't I have a friendly lunch or something with an ex? Daring act for me indeed, being a person who doesn't keep in touch with her ex's. I just don't see how it's possible or logical. I have enough good friends I enjoy to make room for the ones who either broke my heart or I broke theirs..

But with the new challenge to dare myself to do something I wouldn't normally do, I gave it another thought. Since I wasn't sure which ex I would want to contact and ask for a friendly re-union, I let it go. So imagine my surprise when one of them actually contacted me within the following 2 weeks.

Richard was a guy I dated 4 years ago for about 6 months. I met him in March of 2008, right after the busiest times at work passed, and I was ready to have some fun. And that's exactly what we did from the day (sorry, night:) we met. We saw each other almost every day, we went out in the city, we went to Long Island on the weekends. And most importantly, we both shared one big passion: wine! To pay due respect to our passion, we even made a trip to Cali, and drove all the way from LA to SF with a few stops along the way. We basically followed the steps from our favorite movie back then "Sideways". If someone hasn't seen it yet, please watch it. It's classic.

So we had a lot of fun. He was easy going, treated me like a gentleman would treat a lady. Though he was only 25 back then, he had "the moves": "Four Seasons" in Beverly Hills, horse-back riding on the beach, convertible car, Le Bernardin, and lots of Pinot (my favorite).

6 months passed (the time it normally takes for me to realize whether I fell in love or not, at least the only time I was in love...), and I started getting restless. I can't explain it, I just started getting distant. Getting back to busy times at work didn't help either. So I quietly disappeared. He tried to get me back a couple times, but he knew me too well: there is nothing you can do if I set my mind on something. We lost touch and I didn't date anyone for about 6 months, I felt terrible letting such a great guy go. I was mad at myself. Yet I couldn't explain it I knew it was the right decision. My friends were shocked as he was "perfect", and I was out of my mind. To make more sense to them,  I started comparing him to couture, that is perfect but if it doesn't fit - it's a disaster..

So imagine my surprise when he emailed me on LinkedIn this Spring (4 years after we met), saying that it'd been awhile and he was curious how I was, and if I would consider grabbing a drink some time. Initial reaction: you kidding me? Why would you want to see me when I was so mean in the end and simply disappeared. I know I regretted it but still knew it was the right decision back then. Why would it be any different this time around? Yet then I remembered my new challenge, and decided What the Hell, let me go see him. So I said Yes to getting together for a drink.

Being a gentleman again, he picked the place most convenient to me, and we met on a Friday night for some vino. Honestly, it was as easy and comfortable as if those 4 years of separation never took place. We again had fun, played pool (he was teaching me his moves, of course he was perfect at it too). And at the end of the night, he confessed that he was still very interested and would like to pick up where we left off 4 years ago. My reaction: hmmm... is there a master plan behind this or he's being honest..

Not sure what to make out of all this, I start dating him, and for a month,  we (again) go to nice places, we drink wine and we have a great time. Yet again, I am coming to realization this is just not my label :)). He is Chanel and I am Burberry.. I believe he got it this time too. So we quietly ended it and left "us" sideways :)

P.S. Pics from our trip to California, Summer 2008. Richard, thank you.

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