Recycling - Green or desperate?

Cheers my sexy readers!

This week I've been going through all of the work-in-progress posts (the ones I started but never finished). Sometimes, we have a brilliant idea, we write it down, but then abandon it due to whatever reasons. I started feeling kind of bad for them (ideas), I imagined them being so excited to be born, almost like little sprouts, but then being halted and neglected. I know I can be very imaginative:)

So I've decided to give my darling "scapegoats" a well-deserved right to live.

This one is from a year ago. Happened during my workout at the Reebok Sports Club, when I accidentally (if there is such a thing) overheard another member talking to her trainer about relationships.

The conversation went something like this: "How did you get married? You fell madly in love with your husband?" (personal trainer asking the woman). Her response: "No! We just kinda got used to each other, and then it was time, so we got married. It'd better be married than see what my single girl-friends go through these days." Trainer: "What do you mean?" Woman: "they can't seem to meet a nice guy, so most of them go back to dating those they dated in the past but didn't want to settle for."

Hmmm (said both, the trainer and myself). I remember my reaction a year ago. Besides my natural curiosity for the subject, I felt sad. Isn't it like lowering your standards? It's as if a woman's image of herself suffered from not finding love, and she decided that all she could do is settle for the best available option. Really sad. and Pathetic. I am sorry, but I have to say it. Because having a strong sense of herself is woman's nature. She is a goddess who brings life to this Earth. Why do women forget about their Divine, and degrade themselves due to social misconceptions of being single. It seems that it's more acceptable to be married to a completely wrong person (and ruin life of 2 of them, plus to partners they could have made happy) than being alone.

I know it's not all black and white, and there are exceptions to all situations. But in this particular case, it seemed more like a desperate need to be with someone rather than be alone.

Why are we so terrified of being alone? Why don't we love ourselves enough to feel compete? Lastly how can we believe that we can find someone to make us happy before we are happy alone?

It's been said and will be said many times by me and others: We need to fall in love with ourselves first. Become our own best friend and lover, and then, only then feel compelled to share all this love we have inside. A woman glowing in her Bliss is irresistible. She is a Goddess, she is a wolf. She doesn't recycle men, she finds her wolf to run with.

Quotes

Cheers lovers,

So here we are saying good bye to 2013. I believe it was a better year than before, or that's what we like to believe year after year. But we do have something to be grateful for, and it's not the royal baby coming into this world. It's our families and friends, it's those who've been with us through the year, who called us when we needed them, who held our hand, who made us coffee, who said they loved us...

I'd like to end this year with some of my quotes. And in a New Year spirit, there will be 12 of them.

1) A secret to happiness is selective memory. Remembering only positive moments, and forgetting negative.

2) Standards are just someone's opinions powered by strong conviction.

3) Having big ideas for my future is what makes me feel young.

4) Sadness is happiness in a bad mood.

5) All feelings are beautiful, and deserve to be equally loved. Only then can we see lessons they hold for us.

6) I love to take care of myself. It makes me feel like a real man who found his perfect woman.

7) If a man wants to understand a woman, he should get a cat.

8) A woman is like a cat. Even if she plays hard to get it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be petted.

9) Again, a woman is like a cat. She'll come around after you stopped chasing her.


And here's my naughty (or mean:) side, and the reason why Santa passed my house this year:(

10) More annoying than a pregnant woman is probably a bride (sorry! and I do admit there are rare exceptions applying to both).

11) I think grudges are the worst feelings to hold inside. They are destructive to the soul, mind and body. They hold one captive from loving others and the world. They cloud mind and judgement. Lastly, being happy is virtually impossible if one has grudges.

12) I don't like excuses. I can't even swallow them, let alone digest.

Happy 2014 to All. Let's not hope, let's make 2014 better than 2013. Simply being nice to others will make a difference. Love to All!

Anything Is Everything

Cheers All,

As most of you know, I am a big fan of yoga. The benefits are endless, but when I come across a teacher who touches my soul the experience is priceless. I see it as a true blessing.

Exactly that happened last week. I wouldn't say he was the best teacher in the world, but wisdom coming from him made me look inside and think. He shared many wonderful thoughts, but one of them touched me the most. While in my down-facing dog, he dropped a wisdom bomb on me. Literally. It resonated with me right away, it was a light bulb moment. Not to keep you in suspense any longer (just testing your patience), here it is:

"How you do anything is how you do everything."

Sounds simple at first, but not quite. I expect to some it might not make sense at all. Yet some would want to disagree. But if you dare to see the depth of this saying, you'll be able to connect the dots.

Let me explain. The teacher was originally referring to a yoga practice. Specifically, to simple poses, basics so to speak. And what he meant was how you do any pose (small or big) is how you do all of them. If you give your best shot with a simple mountain pose you will strive to do the best you can with any challenging pose. He went further and transcended this wisdom from yoga mat to life.

Really if you think about it, if you approach any small task with passion and determination, you most likely strive for that same passion in other areas in your life. And vice versa. If you don't care, and just do a half-a**ed job in some areas, most likely it is how you approach other areas in your life. People who are known to do their best with anything do it with everything.

I know some might disagree, but those who always strive to be the best they can be, know what I am talking about. They also know when they are not giving their best selves, and deep down they know they are cheating themselves. I know it too well. Always been the one who strives to improve herself, I am painfully aware when I am faking it. The feeling is so destructive to the soul that giving your best self is the not just a solution but the only answer.

And how I  do anything will ultimately lead to how I do everything (no matter what it is). That is why I wouldn't leave work at 5:57pm, why I wouldn't use excuses to call in sick, or work from home, why I wouldn't leave a yoga class during the final Shavasana pose, why I wouldn't promise unless I was 100% sure I'd keep it, why I wouldn't lie.
And it's simple, because my attitude towards anything will determine my attitude towards everything. those 3 minutes won't give me anything but a pathetic excuse for my personal weakness. If I take the low road in one area, how can I expect to ride the high road in another? It's the standard you hold yourself to that determines how you approach anything and everything.

Go beyond small and big. Go wholesome. Take the high road every time. 

Man is not a Woman, Woman is not a Man

I know I am stating the obvious (the title) here, but you'll be surprised how often we forget this.
Let me explain.
How often we imagine in our minds what a man should do, say or think. We women forget that men don't think the way we do, they don't feel the way we do, and they certainly don't understand why we get upset because they didn't react the way we wanted them to. I am sure it goes the other way around too.
But since I am a woman, it's easier for me to elaborate from a female's perspective.
Here's a scenario. Let's say we want him to be more loving to us. But instead of just coming up to him and telling him directly into his face what we want, we start saying stupid things like "I don't feel like you're present", "I feel distance", etc. In the meantime, what we really mean is that we want more loving, what we really want is for him to say "Don't be silly, I love you so much. Come here". That's what we women would do/say, wouldn't we?

But men are not us. They take whatever we say literally. So instead of opening his arms and wrapping them around us, he starts thinking that she's not happy with him, even worse, he doesn't make her happy. And this is probably the most terrible thing he could feel in regard to a relationship since he takes it as a direct accusation of not being enough. If she is not happy with me, I need to go.

So you see, instead of getting what we truly wanted we got the absolute opposite. Very ironic to say the least, and could be fatally damaging.

By trial and error (and unnecessary tears) I learned to forgo my "female mind tricks", and just simply say what I want. And what a relief, who knew it would be so easy?
If it's a good and loving relationship, a partner will respond and give, and give. He wants to make you happy, and if you tell him how, he'll do it.

Relationships are real, they need understanding. But it won't come from projecting your personal assumptions. We need to get out of our heads, and start seeing another as an individual with their personal thoughts and perceptions.

Good loving to all.

Everyday Love

Cheers lovers,

So I've been thinking and wondering what direction should I take now that I am in a relationship with a man I love?
The truth is I miss my blog, I miss writing about my thoughts, sharing my endeavors. What the hell, I miss talking about love and sex.
And then I realized, I don't have to end my blog. In fact, I should come back, I need to come back. I feel it's even more of my duty now that I'm learning what love is.
You see, searching for love doesn't really end once we fall in love. Quite the opposite, love keeps revealing itself more and more as we go along. Sometimes, we lose ourselves or let our egos take control, but if we run back to love and let it rule our lives, we realize that it's being discovered every day, it's being experienced every moment. Love in a way gets a life of its own.

Yes, that's what I am beginning to learn. In the last year or so, I made mistakes, I chickened out a few times. But I am glad I was smart enough (and lucky enough to have a patient lover) to always come back to love and let it take its course. It wasn't as easy for me as I expected, in fact, I realized, I didn't really know what love was till now. It's not what most of us think it is. It's not just chemistry and excitement. It's also about compassion, acceptance and giving. And I am only scratching the surface here.

So I've decided to start a new series about every day love. I'll write about my thoughts and experiences on what love is, what it takes to keep it alive, and how to surrender to it.

Mistakenly we believe that once we find love, there is nothing else we need to do. Somehow all our problems and issues will disappear, and we'll live in a perpetual bliss of romance.
Let me tell you, we humans also have egos and minds that like to sabotage (screw up really) whenever we feel vulnerable or giving control away. And being in love is letting yourself being vulnerable, it's about giving up control to the relationship. For most of us, especially the strong-willed ones, giving up control is not the easiest thing. Some of us have lost trust after a few disappointments. Some of us closed off completely.

I've been a victim of my fears and doubts, I've let my ego mess with my life. But letting love in and surrendering to it in the end, was the best decision I made in my life.

I know most people will relate to what I am sharing here. And as I am learning myself how to love and to be loved, I want to share it with you. For believe me, there is nothing more beautiful than to love and be loved. It opens our hearts, it tames our minds, and most importantly, it reveals our souls.

 Welcome to my new series "Let Love Rule"