Doubt: friend or foe?

If you ask me what is a silent killer of any relationship or any dream, I'll tell you it's a doubt.
Naturally, I dislike the feeling, it's the hardest to shake off, it creeps up on you and, if not uprooted, will ultimately erode the foundation of any creation.
The truth is we all face doubt at some point, be it in a relationship, work or any other life area.

The question is how to deal with it?

I wish I had a perfect answer that would apply to all. I don't. Yet I am willing to make an effort and look for a solution. Sometimes just a search for it is already half of a solution.

First, I want to answer Can doubt be good at all? Could it help us see something that we don't want to see? Could it be an indicator of an issue we are trying to avoid?
If we are still not sure, can we turn to trust? Trust could be the best cure for doubt. But how do you know that the prescription of trust is the right one, and not just a temporary pain killer to subside the pain? And if it's the soul that is hurting (which most likely it is) will it swallow any "prescription" to just numb the pain?

Not a big fan of artificial sedatives in any situation, I want to find a natural cure for the soul.

Trust is good but it's still a forced feeling that depends on outside factors, it's fragile. I want to be cured from within. I want to be healed eternally.

What clearly comes to me is Love. I think my soul just whispered it to my heart. Love is natural, it's the core of our being, of life itself. When love is embraced, all pain is gone. Love soothes the soul from within as an internal, inborn light. Loving yourself first, embracing your fears and doubts, letting them phase in the light of love, letting the light shine through you, loving others. Letting the healing light of love wrap you holistically, and surround you protectively but open you lovingly. It's always within waiting to rescue. It's like an emergency care that never sleeps, that rushes when called. We just need to remember the number to call. The soul knows the number, it's dying to call it. We just need to remember. We just need to surrender. 

Recycling - Green or desperate?

Cheers my sexy readers!

This week I've been going through all of the work-in-progress posts (the ones I started but never finished). Sometimes, we have a brilliant idea, we write it down, but then abandon it due to whatever reasons. I started feeling kind of bad for them (ideas), I imagined them being so excited to be born, almost like little sprouts, but then being halted and neglected. I know I can be very imaginative:)

So I've decided to give my darling "scapegoats" a well-deserved right to live.

This one is from a year ago. Happened during my workout at the Reebok Sports Club, when I accidentally (if there is such a thing) overheard another member talking to her trainer about relationships.

The conversation went something like this: "How did you get married? You fell madly in love with your husband?" (personal trainer asking the woman). Her response: "No! We just kinda got used to each other, and then it was time, so we got married. It'd better be married than see what my single girl-friends go through these days." Trainer: "What do you mean?" Woman: "they can't seem to meet a nice guy, so most of them go back to dating those they dated in the past but didn't want to settle for."

Hmmm (said both, the trainer and myself). I remember my reaction a year ago. Besides my natural curiosity for the subject, I felt sad. Isn't it like lowering your standards? It's as if a woman's image of herself suffered from not finding love, and she decided that all she could do is settle for the best available option. Really sad. and Pathetic. I am sorry, but I have to say it. Because having a strong sense of herself is woman's nature. She is a goddess who brings life to this Earth. Why do women forget about their Divine, and degrade themselves due to social misconceptions of being single. It seems that it's more acceptable to be married to a completely wrong person (and ruin life of 2 of them, plus to partners they could have made happy) than being alone.

I know it's not all black and white, and there are exceptions to all situations. But in this particular case, it seemed more like a desperate need to be with someone rather than be alone.

Why are we so terrified of being alone? Why don't we love ourselves enough to feel compete? Lastly how can we believe that we can find someone to make us happy before we are happy alone?

It's been said and will be said many times by me and others: We need to fall in love with ourselves first. Become our own best friend and lover, and then, only then feel compelled to share all this love we have inside. A woman glowing in her Bliss is irresistible. She is a Goddess, she is a wolf. She doesn't recycle men, she finds her wolf to run with.

Quotes

Cheers lovers,

So here we are saying good bye to 2013. I believe it was a better year than before, or that's what we like to believe year after year. But we do have something to be grateful for, and it's not the royal baby coming into this world. It's our families and friends, it's those who've been with us through the year, who called us when we needed them, who held our hand, who made us coffee, who said they loved us...

I'd like to end this year with some of my quotes. And in a New Year spirit, there will be 12 of them.

1) A secret to happiness is selective memory. Remembering only positive moments, and forgetting negative.

2) Standards are just someone's opinions powered by strong conviction.

3) Having big ideas for my future is what makes me feel young.

4) Sadness is happiness in a bad mood.

5) All feelings are beautiful, and deserve to be equally loved. Only then can we see lessons they hold for us.

6) I love to take care of myself. It makes me feel like a real man who found his perfect woman.

7) If a man wants to understand a woman, he should get a cat.

8) A woman is like a cat. Even if she plays hard to get it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be petted.

9) Again, a woman is like a cat. She'll come around after you stopped chasing her.


And here's my naughty (or mean:) side, and the reason why Santa passed my house this year:(

10) More annoying than a pregnant woman is probably a bride (sorry! and I do admit there are rare exceptions applying to both).

11) I think grudges are the worst feelings to hold inside. They are destructive to the soul, mind and body. They hold one captive from loving others and the world. They cloud mind and judgement. Lastly, being happy is virtually impossible if one has grudges.

12) I don't like excuses. I can't even swallow them, let alone digest.

Happy 2014 to All. Let's not hope, let's make 2014 better than 2013. Simply being nice to others will make a difference. Love to All!

Anything Is Everything

Cheers All,

As most of you know, I am a big fan of yoga. The benefits are endless, but when I come across a teacher who touches my soul the experience is priceless. I see it as a true blessing.

Exactly that happened last week. I wouldn't say he was the best teacher in the world, but wisdom coming from him made me look inside and think. He shared many wonderful thoughts, but one of them touched me the most. While in my down-facing dog, he dropped a wisdom bomb on me. Literally. It resonated with me right away, it was a light bulb moment. Not to keep you in suspense any longer (just testing your patience), here it is:

"How you do anything is how you do everything."

Sounds simple at first, but not quite. I expect to some it might not make sense at all. Yet some would want to disagree. But if you dare to see the depth of this saying, you'll be able to connect the dots.

Let me explain. The teacher was originally referring to a yoga practice. Specifically, to simple poses, basics so to speak. And what he meant was how you do any pose (small or big) is how you do all of them. If you give your best shot with a simple mountain pose you will strive to do the best you can with any challenging pose. He went further and transcended this wisdom from yoga mat to life.

Really if you think about it, if you approach any small task with passion and determination, you most likely strive for that same passion in other areas in your life. And vice versa. If you don't care, and just do a half-a**ed job in some areas, most likely it is how you approach other areas in your life. People who are known to do their best with anything do it with everything.

I know some might disagree, but those who always strive to be the best they can be, know what I am talking about. They also know when they are not giving their best selves, and deep down they know they are cheating themselves. I know it too well. Always been the one who strives to improve herself, I am painfully aware when I am faking it. The feeling is so destructive to the soul that giving your best self is the not just a solution but the only answer.

And how I  do anything will ultimately lead to how I do everything (no matter what it is). That is why I wouldn't leave work at 5:57pm, why I wouldn't use excuses to call in sick, or work from home, why I wouldn't leave a yoga class during the final Shavasana pose, why I wouldn't promise unless I was 100% sure I'd keep it, why I wouldn't lie.
And it's simple, because my attitude towards anything will determine my attitude towards everything. those 3 minutes won't give me anything but a pathetic excuse for my personal weakness. If I take the low road in one area, how can I expect to ride the high road in another? It's the standard you hold yourself to that determines how you approach anything and everything.

Go beyond small and big. Go wholesome. Take the high road every time. 

Man is not a Woman, Woman is not a Man

I know I am stating the obvious (the title) here, but you'll be surprised how often we forget this.
Let me explain.
How often we imagine in our minds what a man should do, say or think. We women forget that men don't think the way we do, they don't feel the way we do, and they certainly don't understand why we get upset because they didn't react the way we wanted them to. I am sure it goes the other way around too.
But since I am a woman, it's easier for me to elaborate from a female's perspective.
Here's a scenario. Let's say we want him to be more loving to us. But instead of just coming up to him and telling him directly into his face what we want, we start saying stupid things like "I don't feel like you're present", "I feel distance", etc. In the meantime, what we really mean is that we want more loving, what we really want is for him to say "Don't be silly, I love you so much. Come here". That's what we women would do/say, wouldn't we?

But men are not us. They take whatever we say literally. So instead of opening his arms and wrapping them around us, he starts thinking that she's not happy with him, even worse, he doesn't make her happy. And this is probably the most terrible thing he could feel in regard to a relationship since he takes it as a direct accusation of not being enough. If she is not happy with me, I need to go.

So you see, instead of getting what we truly wanted we got the absolute opposite. Very ironic to say the least, and could be fatally damaging.

By trial and error (and unnecessary tears) I learned to forgo my "female mind tricks", and just simply say what I want. And what a relief, who knew it would be so easy?
If it's a good and loving relationship, a partner will respond and give, and give. He wants to make you happy, and if you tell him how, he'll do it.

Relationships are real, they need understanding. But it won't come from projecting your personal assumptions. We need to get out of our heads, and start seeing another as an individual with their personal thoughts and perceptions.

Good loving to all.