If You Ever Loved Somebody Put Your Hands Up

I am immensely amazed whenever I hear people tell me that they’ve never been in love.

I know I should be understanding as there was a period in my life when I'd never experienced it. Yet whenever I hear this my eyes become larger than apples and all I can say is Really? How? Why?

Let me tell you, they are all normal people, at least they seemed to be. The fact that it was only men who ever confessed this important piece of information to me, made me re-consider that many times. Again men have their own ways that we women just don’t understand and never will. Yet I have no choice but to explore on this issue from my female perspective, hoping that in no way am I undermining men. I love you guys, and wouldn’t want to hurt you... But I am just too curious to pass on this subject.

First time, it happened 2 years ago, at my girl friend’s bachelorette party in Southampton, that a nice 33 y.o. guy confessed to me about his no-love experience. He was very cute and sweet. We talked for an hour, next hour we danced and it was a lot of fun (he might have been the most fun dancer I ever had). The last hour we kissed and it was even more fun as my friends literally had to pull me away from him and drag me back into a limo to go home. 

After that night, Ed and I dated for about 2 months, and I never could understand how is it such a sweet guy never was in love. I almost wanted to stick around longer to see how he falls in love with me and prove to myself (and maybe the rest of the world) that it was simply a matter of time and he was no stranger to love, he was one of us.. 

The second confession came from his closest friend, also a 33 y.o. guy. I found Stan very funny and witty. He had the looks and he was sharp. I even tried to set him up with my girl friend. And again I was sure that it was just temporary. A guy like that can’t go on in life without love. 

Since it didn’t work out for Ed and I, I forgot about this matter for awhile. Actually until last night, when a nice 35 y.o. guy confessed to me the exact same thing. My eyes became apples and instantly I remembered Ed and his friend Stan. Today it got me thinking even more. How is it that those guys have never been in love. And I am sure it’s not just them, there are more of them out there. So my questions is to all of them How is it that you never had your heart beating for someone else? 

I don’t remember if I ever asked Ed and Stan this question or it didn’t go beyond my bigger than apples eyes and a gasp. But I sure asked this question the guy last night. He said he didn’t want to have his heart broken. And I understood him, my eyes came back to their normal size and it made perfect sense to me. Of course, I was in love twice and maybe falling now again (will tell you later..) and, Man, it hurts.. Love hurts and whoever says it doesn’t found the secret that I want to know..

It hurts even when you are with them because of all the insane demands we have for our partners. If partners are not on the same wavelength it creates a feeling of a huge responsibility that not many can handle. Name at least one person who is fine with it. It gets overwhelming for both with expectations and demands, which in the end hurts both. I am not talking about those happy couples who are so in sync that they won’t even understand what I am talking about here. I am speaking for those whose relationships fell apart or not as smooth as they wish to be.

As much as it made sense to me last night, I still wouldn’t change a thing about my past 2 loves. Love, no matter how painful it was at times, made me experience myself and grow internally like nothing else. It made me feel alive. When I love I am life, and I feel eternal. Death has no meaning then, for when I love I know it is not as important as the love I have. And that is the reason I can’t wait to fall in love again.. I want to die in love..

In the end, I haven’t found the answer on why those guys and many others have never experienced love. But I hope one day they will. For they’ll see that the pain associated with it faints compared to the Love itself.