Saturday, August 4, 2012

Sex in NY

Cheers All,

On another hot Saturday night, I was actually going to just drink my wine and watch "Vicky, Christina, Barcelona" after a beautiful happy day at the beach; however, something I read today just wouldn't let me rest.
When this morning, while getting some stuff for the beach at the store, I saw "Sex" on the cover of the "New York" magazine, I had an instant impulse to buy it. I was curious. Sex in the city - my kinda stuff.

Needless to say, I didn't read the article till later in the day, and I am happy I didn't. Cause it disturbed me big time. If you're a curious one (like me), please go get the magazine and read it. And then please tell me your opinion. Maybe it's just my reaction, and maybe I'm exaggerating. But I felt sad, even bothered by what I read.

The article was written beautifully, don't get me wrong. Dan P. Lee is a good writer. But it was the substance of the article that disturbed me. In a nutshell: he covers several scenes (sexual in nature) he found and investigated in the city.

Disturbing part: all the scenes were somewhat perverted in nature. He found some fetish and swing clubs, parties for older singles, women in the "oldest profession in history", looser guy from the dating site, etc. It all sounds extremely depressing, and as if this is how it is in the Big City.
Basically, sex experienced far from the ideal and most common way we envision: love or affection/attraction for the one you have it with.
While reading the article, I was constantly telling myself "Not true! I haven't met anyone who would get into any of the described scenarios. It's all a very small part of New York and lovers in the city".

Then I stopped questioning and started thinking. Is it really how it is in the city? I know it's not easy to find someone you can trust and ultimately love (as love could never survive without the former)?

But isn't it the case around the world? Then why such a pessimistic outlook on the dating pool in NYC? I'm pretty sure, there are "sexually deviant" people everywhere in the country.

Myself, my friends and people I have in my circle, have shown me the most normal and inspiring outlook on love and sex in NY. It's true, on rare occasions, I do indulge in conversations with my girl-friends how crazy men are in the city, and how difficult it is to come across someone normal as we are. But those are rare, cause we all know that NY is a pool of different people, most of whom haven't been born here, and we are among them anyway. I think it's just the matter of time, and place, and expectation. We all want to make careers first. New York itself has nothing to do with it. In fact, I believe nowhere else but NY would one have the best shot at meeting their true love, being it the most travelled and visited city in the world.

Again, it's me talking, an optimist by heart. Someone who's found herself in the city, who's had most of her sex in the city, who's loved only in the city. Someone who loves the city. So I do feel defensive about it, and would want to defend.

Not sure why the "New York" magazine thought it would be a great article for its readers to read (mostly New Yorkers I bet), and why Dan (most likely not a New Yorker himself) only looked and participated in the most disturbing sex scenes in the city...
But it makes me so much more reminiscent of those movies about the city that showed love and sex the way I wanted to see it: "When Harry Met Sally", "You've got mail", "Sex and the City", "Friends", etc.

And also the way I've experienced it myself. The article doesn't do the city any justice. 


  1. Sex sells, Dear. He went into all those experiences open-mindedly and relayed his own impressions. NY magazine edits all their writers' materials. Those go to print almost like by-laws, after several approvals. All of his episode seen real to me, disturbing, revolting as they are. The majority of people are not satisfied by a marital affections. Im afraid, the story is even far gloomier with singles. Describing isolated situations the author gave examples of leisure activities that are frequent routinely in every single city.

    Being the huge city New York is, it is quite accurate perception I dare say.
    Then again, I am not easily to surprise ((;

    1. Yes, I must admit I am biased in this area. That's why this blog has "Love" word in it. I do believe in true love, and that it's not simply possible but paramount to find it in the city. The place where everything has time value and price tag, love seems to be the only salvation. It keeps me going, it keeps me wanting to be here.
      What can I say, I'll die a hard-core optimist.

      Thanks baby for sharing your wisdom!