My current obsession

My current obsession: Taylor Swift. She is adorable. Takes me back to when I was 18 and all I wanted was love:) But seriously, she is talented, gorgeous and sweet. love her.

Summer is here!!

Cheers all,

I know I've been no-show for awhile now, and I know some of you have been curious... (Linka love you...)
So just wanted to drop a line and give a status on my whereabouts.

First, work as usual. I just love financial reporting and analysis, never lets you get out of shape..

Second, I've been very busy socially. It seems as if all my friends have never been so present since my college years. Girl-friends are precious, could never imagine my life without them.

Third, I've been dating of course :) many guys, many options, but this time I'm pacing myself. Never spread myself thin, and even less so these days. But yes, there is a lot of interest and all I have to do is make sure I am being smart and patient. By the way, ladies, I found the best solution on how to weed out the ones who are only in it for some thrills. Wait on getting intimate. I know it's hard with the one you can't wait to get your hands on, and get hot, hot, hot (it's always been my weakness;). But if you ever find yourself in a situation similar to mine: a lot of interest, a lot of guys, and you want to make sure you choose the right one to be a great boy-friend and not just a fling. My word of advice: Wait. Just wait. and see who will stand the time. He'll be the guy and he'll get the hot-hot-hot, and you'll be happy. Just take your time girl. You'll never regret this.

Lastly, I am so on my blog. I already have at least 3 new posts in project, just need to be done with all my work deadlines to finish them. Also I started thinking on developing another blog, sister blog if you will, which will focus on fashion, mostly on how to dress and look stylish in NYC and do it on the budget. It's coming I promise.

As for now, let me get thru with my deadlines this and next week. Besides I have some interesting meetings this week, which I make sure to cover on my blog.

Happy summer everyone. It's my favorite season, and I wish you all to enjoy it. Get sexy, have fun.

 P.S. Last week I found the most gorgeous chair in the world (pic). It sure will be in my house, once I move out of NYC and having a house won't seem like a utopian idea anymore :)

You can't take that away from me

Since love is my favorite subject, naturally I've always been curious about marriage as an institution. Half of my friends are or have been married which enabled me to gather data for my research and analysis. I probably already formed my opinion about marriage long time ago; hence the reason I turned down a marriage proposal a couple times. But it wasn't till last night that I finally had a clear vision on where I am standing.

So last night, I had dinner with two girl-friends, one of them is recently married with a small baby. We had fun and all, and as night was ending I asked my married girl-friend a question I ask all my married friends: Are you happy to be married? Is it all you envisioned it to be?

Honestly, every time I ask this question I get "almost" the same reaction. Notice not the same wording, but the same reaction: deep heavy breath, long pause and a look full of doom. Then they start talking and the following 3 things never fail to shock me.

1) First, I'm stoned when they tell me that sex kind of goes away.... whatever that means... and no one is talking about pleasuring themselves or being sexually starved. It's like an ordinary thing.
2) Then I am speechless when they tell me that it's not about them anymore, but kids. Meaning, they don't enjoy each other anymore but take care of kids. By the way, my research has shown that for some unknown reason marriage and kids almost always go together. Simple love and company of one partner are just not enough, it needs to be enriched with diapers. I guess it's that icing on the wedding cake..
3) And finally I am completely floored when they tell me that they don't get to do what they loved to do before marriage, moreover, they nag their partner for "wasting" time on things they love to do and not on them/family.

Once I get over my triple shock, I overflow them with the following questions (not intentionally but out of curiosity and to get data for my research): Are you serious? Why did it change because of marriage? Isn't it supposed to improve your life? Why did sex go away? Isn't marriage supposed to be a free pass to unlimited sex? Isn't it fun that you don't have to date around and just focus all your fun sexual energy on the man you love? Why don't you look and try to look sexy anymore? It's still you and it's still him. Why give up yourself and not let him be? Why don't you let him do his thing (playing games, sports) and do your thing in the meantime? and so on and so on....  I can't stop.

They blankly stare at me as if I am simply clueless and have no freaking idea what I am talking about. And give me some BS answer that probably doesn't even make sense to them. Every time, every married friend. Even the last one, who is the most progressive of all, and still does girls' nights out, and still has a scent of an expensive perfume and not a baby powder...

Then I spent more time thinking about where I am standing on marriage based on research and observation. and I had it!! It was like a light bulb really, I even had to call it a night at 10pm and excuse myself home. My inner voice was too loud to ignore, it needed to be heard. It had a clear answer for me: I don't want this. I don't want to be where my married friends are.

I don't want to give up my passions and dreams and not let my partner enjoy his. I don't want to be constantly controlled and I don't want to control him. I don't want to nag him and be manipulative. I refuse to give up myself and make him do the same. I don't want to stop taking care of myself and not look sexy. I don't want to move to suburbs and have babies, and that being all there is to it. After all the "don't's" I moved on to the "do's".
And I clearly saw what I wanted when I am married. It's very simple. I want to enjoy it. I want to have fun. I want us to enjoy it. Travel around the world, do our favorite things together and apart, inspire each other, motivate each other, make each other laugh, make love whenever wherever... Take care of myself, wear La Perla, drink wine, stay at beautiful hotels, go to the beach, go out, etc.. Nothing's wrong with it. The bible says: A wife should enjoy her husband. God himself intended for marriage to be joy. Nothing new here.

As for the little angels with diapers, I had to accept the fact that I might stay away, being well aware that they could stand in the way of enjoying the life. or as I told my friends last night Only if it happens out of big love and by accident. Selfish? Maybe. But isn't nagging and controlling your partner even more selfish, and it's usually because of kids. So if I have to be selfish I'd rather go for the former, and at least have a joyful and happy life with my partner.

Then I felt a great sense of relief and it made a whole lot of sense to me why I hadn't jumped into "Till death do us part" yet. I simply didn't know what I really wanted and was smart enough to wait till I did (unlike most people). And it's as simple as it gets: Enjoy it, whatever it does or doesn't take.

P.S. Still wishing good luck to all married with kids couples out there. and please don't forget about sex.

Burning questions answered, The List

Lately, I've been hearing a lot about "The List". You know, the one with the qualities we are looking for in a partner, the so called "must-haves" in order to make it to our hearts and minds.

It's no surprise to me that we all have a list in one way or another. But what surprised me is how different those lists are between women and men. You would think ladies would have a list much longer and more detailed? I can almost read your minds accusing women of their choosiness.
So I am here to actually shock you that my observation and investigation have proved men to be much pickier and less flexible when it comes to finding "The One".

As usual my research started with a trusted male colleague at work, when I asked him to tell me his top 3 qualities. When I got 3 long paragraphs from him, I realized it was a lot more complicated.. or could it be that I didn't phrase my question right? I thought I asked for top 3 qualities.. did I somehow mistyped 3 with 33...
Anyway, I didn't get what I expected: Smart, Sexy, Beautiful. Instead I got a long description of a perfect (could it be?) woman. She is the best friend and lover. She laughs at his silly jokes and even foolish behavior. She is feminine but not too sensitive and doesn't get offended too easily. She is beautiful and classy and yet can be low key when needed. She is an amazing and caring lover, and basically a sex maniac (with him only). She is easy to be around but she challenges him intellectually. She laughs at his jokes and silly behavior but will be serious when he needs someone to take his place ( I guess fill in his shoes..). She has her own life plan (career, hobbies) but takes care of him and the family. She is a great mother of course. She is intelligent but very easy going. She is faithful and respectful of others. She complements his strengths and fills in his weaknesses... and most importantly,  she makes me happy ALWAYS...

Wow I got exhausted simply typing all this. Is it even possible? I don't think James Bond has a list half as long. I believe his only requirements are: Sexy, Sexual and Sensual.

Well my friend did mention that if he simply wants to have fun the "List" is not as important and he can forgo a few requirements. However if he is looking for a long-term partner, a marriage, "The List" must be met.

After this revealing and somewhat disturbing (for me) conversation, I started "The List" project, i.e. inquiring and gathering data on males' "must haves'. Girls, all I can say is Good Luck!! or as 50 Cents would probably say: Become the List or Die trying..

In the end I realized whatever men proclaim they still fall in love and get married simply because the woman they want is a myth but everybody wants to love somebody sometime. So I assume somewhere along the way the list gets lost in those wonderful exciting moments they have with some special girl, perhaps the one who makes them smile:)

Bonus in the end of my research: My male colleague stated that I most likely would qualify for his list :) wink.. I passed on the application.. Simply don't want to fight against the impossible.
The rest of the participants also re-assured me that I was an extremely promising case. Thanks guys... But frankly I think it's easier to be a president...

P.S. My list surprised all participants:
1) Sense of humor (makes me laugh, which is easy to do really);
2) Stability (financial, emotional, mental, etc);
3) Sexual compatibality (on the same sex wavelength with me:)

What can I say I am a big fan of Minimalism. easier to keep track..

  

Dating Game, IV

So that rainy Friday, I scored 2 eligible guys at my gym. God himself intended for me to write this blog :)

Michael, the Russian guy, hasn't only come across as persistent, he was persistent. He wasn't joking about hiking, and that's what we did the following day. I must say, he made it very easy for me: picked me up and everything. All I had to do is come downstairs and keep repeating to myself : the worst that can happen, I'll get a nice workout today.
His friends came along and for some reason everyone already assumed that we were an item. I didn't know that it was possible within a few hours of meeting someone new. Apparently, it was.
In any case, in the most traditional Russian manner, as soon as we arrived, all his friends settled in the nature with many bottles of beer and food. Thankfully Michael kept true to his word and the two of us embarked on a hiking trail. It was an intermediate trail, and no matter how much I resisted it, Michael had to lift me up here and there. I thought it was a bit of too much pre-mature touching for my taste. But I had no choice, I needed to get to the top of the mountain.

An hour and half later, we were sitting at the top (pic below). Either due to the fact that he had to lift me up and I had to hold on to his shoulders a few times (believe me it wasn't optional), or that we successfully got to the top, Michael started feeling entitled in entering my space. You know me, I am the most passionate gal in the whole New York galaxy, but helping me get to the top of the mountain isn't enough to light my passion. I need a day and a night and a whole cycle to let it out.

To keep my space and smoothly escape Michael's hands, I started taking pictures, talking to strangers, making chit chat with anyone around. Those Russian guys, just don't give you any space. Never mind that we met only about 20 hours ago...

I was home around 7pm, and couldn't wait to wash off the dust and sweat of an invigorating hike, and most importantly, Michael's hands. By 8pm, I was having sushi with J, and finally felt happy and safe. I guess hiking with a pushy Russian is simply not my element.

Next week, Michael wanted to see me every day. He crashed on my lunch with my girl-friends. He got upset I wouldn't ditch my girls to be with him. I was getting frustrated.
I have a life, and you are not a part of it just yet. You need to make your way there, no shortcuts, at least not for everyone.
Besides, I have a demanding job, fitness routine, girl-friends, wine friends, etc. I just met you, you can't expect me to just drop everything to be with you.

Still I had to give him a reason of a doubt. He was a good guy, we just weren't on the same wavelength. So I gave it a try for another week. The last drop was when I had to work late and he called me at work and started complaining that I was putting my job first. Seriously?

It was enough. I couldn't stand it anymore. I told him it wasn't a good timing for us, he called me weird. Whatever, I just couldn't wait to get out of his controlling grip and get back to my free life. Don't I live in a free country where space is valued and appreciated?

And just conveniently right then Amar called me and invited me out. I couldn't do that day, his answer: No worries sweetie, How about Friday or whenever is good for you? Mmmmm :) That's my kinda answer. So I happily added a date with Amar to my busy schedule. Stay tuned...