Changes

Dear all,

Most of you have noticed that my blog has been acting out (technically). The only reason I have is that it was visited by some kind of world web virus. I hope it's not the US government snooping on me :)

Anyway, unfortunately, I need to re-direct my blogging activity to another blog of mine.

Please follow me at my other blog New York Life: http://newyorklf.blogspot.com/

Thank you all, and meet you at my other home!

Babies R'nt Us

Cheers all,

So just as soon as I embarked on a journey to find my true path I was cornered by my mother and sister about having a child. They pushed me to the wall, pressed the gun to my uterus and demanded I have a baby right Now.

Apparently I am running out of time to join the most exclusive club of motherhood. With every minute celebrating my glorious 30s, I am wasting my life away (according to my mom and my sister).
       
Well that just pisses me off. Isn't it every woman's right to decide what she wants to do with her life? Why are we still marginalized by the society into making us believe that the only way a woman makes a difference in this world is by procreating. Why those of us who don't participate in increasing the already overcrowded planet are looked at with pity at best?

 Why are we still alienated by our own lot (women) for not joining them in what sometimes seems to be a very disappointing and stressful experience?

Just because some women find their purpose in having children doesn't mean others do.

What about those women who are more conscious about responsibilities motherhood entails. We understand that bringing a child to this world isn't just a bow to our feminine nature. We actually think about the world we would have to bring a new life into, and how it's not the ideal world for a new life. We think about how most food these days is processed, toxic or genetically engineered, and obesity among kids is growing. We think about the polluted air and water, and melting arctic ice. We think how the corporation is controlling our lives. We think of all the civil wars taking place in the world. We think how corrupted our government is. We don't trust our society anymore.
Then we stress about our jobs that only give 60 days of maternity leave, and there is no reliable and affordable day care available. We get anxious just thinking about leaving our child with some stranger at a day care, and run to work to be able to pay for it. Then we worry that having a child will put our career at risk, just because it does.
We realize that we don't have "the whole village" to raise a child, we only have ourselves, and if we are lucky  a reliable partner.

If anything we are more responsible and practical about motherhood, and are fully aware whether we are ready to bring a new life into this world or not.

I am not saying that having a child is completely out of the question for me and other women of my generations. But we are not driven by primal instincts, and when or if we decide to have a child it will be a deliberate decision based on weighted options and solid reasons, and the God's will of course.

Step I - Let it go

Cheers all,

Being somewhat an extremist, I tend to get carried away with things. And although being this way pays off when a course of action is obvious, what happens if it's not?

Since I started feeling unfulfilled working in the corporate world (about a year ago), I focused mostly on my dissatisfaction with the ways things were. Now, I made a big mistake by focusing on what I didn't want in my life, what was driving me crazy, and seeing what was wrong with the life I created. What do you think happens when we focus on the negative?
That's right, we get more and more negative. As a result we shut down all our creative impulses, and get even more disconnected with our soul.

When this happens, it's virtually impossible to connect to your inner wisdom, and hear that magical inner voice that knows it all! Well it definitely knows what's best for you.

I started feeling the weight on my shoulders (literally - as it lead me to getting chiropractic adjustments), and negative outlook on my life resulted in physical pain. I started having stomach problems and severe back pain.

I knew I went too far. I knew it wasn't the way I would find my authentic path, and live my passions. I knew I had to re-direct my focus again.

And I did. First thing was to stop beating myself up. You are here now, and there is a reason for that. Just being aware that there is something more than having a job is truly amazing. It's like that quietness before the storm, that's impregnated with wild creative forces that are getting ready to be unleashed. It's magical.

Second, I needed to focus on what is good in my life, which was plenty. I needed to remind myself how far I'd come. Acknowledging your own accomplishments is extremely important. Not only do we focus on positive, we empower our ability to make big changes. Once I looked back and truly reflected on everything I'd done so far, I realized how fearless and strong I was. That boosted my confidence level once again, and propelled me to set out a whole new set of goals.

And that's where I am right now. Still not sure what my next step will be but at peace with where I am, and that is all I need. I know there will come a moment when all stars will get aligned for me, and my inner ears will open, and my soul will speak clearly to me, and then I'll be guided to my right path. In the meantime, I'll do my best to stay at peace, and radiate my light no matter where I am.

Namaste

Mission II

Three years ago, as I was going through the second biggest love loss in my life thus far, I turned to writing. Shortly after, "New York Love" was born. Unbeknownst to myself, the following years became the most important to my personal and spiritual growth. I found what I was looking for all along. It was the power of love I already had inside me. I opened my heart and let love surround me from inside out. The results were amazing: I started attracting more positive and loving people into my life, the world was becoming friendlier by day, and most importantly, a loving relationship I was craving for finally entered my life.

I thought myself the luckiest gal in this whole NY galaxy.
However, after a year of basking in a loving bliss, I started feeling restless again. Now, I am not saying something was wrong. In fact, my life never was such a smooth sail before. However, I started looking beyond my own well-being. I started asking myself: What am I doing to make a difference in this world? What purpose do I have?

I truly believe when we are in a healthy relationship we are encouraged to look beyond ourselves, to expand our reach. So here I am, in a loving relationship with a partner who inspires me to look beyond myself, spread my love around, and find my true purpose.

First, it comes as a shock to those of us who've spent all their twenties building career in the corporate world, only to discover later that it was all wrong, completely off path. I do feel grateful for certain things that my career in the corporate world gave me: financial independence, wonderful people I met along the way, camaraderie, and security of a monthly check. However, increasingly I start feeling withdrawn from its culture, realizing that there is more to life than working for someone else, longing to make a real difference in this world.

I am sure in this age, a lot people start feeling disconnected from their jobs. We are the most evolved society, and longing for authenticity is not a surprise or a rare occurrence these days. Yes, initially I was shocked to discover that after all this years of working on my career, I was actually drifting further away from my true purpose. I wasn't living my passions, I wasn't living my own life. Yet, I was grateful for this awareness. I had a glimpse of what my life would be like if I never worked a day in my life because I LOVED what I did. I started craving for my true path.

So here I am, embarking on a new mission to find my true calling, and inviting you to join me. We all deserve to create our own lives, to find our own truth.

Summary
Mission: Find true calling, follow my bliss, make a difference;
Agent: Determined female in her early thirties, tired of working for someone else, ready to become her own boss;
Current situation: working in the corporate world; not being able to quit before another stable source of income materializes;
Resources: my own hunger for knowledge; inspirations from others, personal motivation;
Method: by exploring various passions and methods to find a personally, spiritually and financially rewarding career. Action-oriented but still connected to the wisdom within.
Test control: By documenting my endeavors on the blog, and drawing logical and relevant conclusions.
Start: start where I am and keep going.

Update

Cheers lovers,

Today, I've taken an inventory of my blogging activity, which quite frankly shocked me. I hardly wrote anything this year.

The slowdown was inevitable in some way, since I wasn't dating anymore. But the blog became a part of me in the last 3 years, it was my creative outlet, my spiritual outburst. Writing it and expressing myself helped me find myself and most importantly, accept myself completely. In the last year, I tried to convince myself that the mission was accomplished, and now I could move on to the next project. I would occupy myself with many other things, keeping myself busy. But in the end, I had to accept the truth - I get lost without writing, I get off track. It's as if I am shutting a very important part of myself down, the part that is responsible for my creations, the one that connects me with my soul.

So I am back.

I am back to New York Love, back to you, and to myself.

I am planning to set out a new mission for myself that will bring me back here over and over again.
I am planning a search for my true calling. For now that's all I am going to share, but tune in all my fellow New Yorkers, those who are searching, those who are curious, for we are on a mission to find our true path. To connect to our soul, to find our passions, to embark on our own life journey.

Namaste